Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:39:11 GMT

[Music- Raven Symone "Under The Sea"]
[Mood-]

ughh so confuzzled right now. I'm really close to just leaving DCR...really close. I mean, it just doesnt feel the same any more. I know it's probably gonna get real inactive durring the summer..everyone will be off doing stuff.My family might go to Disney World this summer..I highly doubt it though. We'll probably go to Colorado. I hate Colorado! Well,the mountain part anyway. We went there last summer! Gah.Last summer vacation was the worst..and most amazing time of my life.It's really hard to explain..yeah.Hopefully at the end of summer I'll get to go see Aly&AJ in concert,I would LOVE that.Well I'm gonna go find my Jordan Pruitt CD,toodles Fo shoodles.

Your Confuzzled Gurl,
Lexie [as Saidee&Baliegh spell it]

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 04:43:16 GMT

[Music-Aly&AJ's Not This Year]
[Mood-]

I made a new livejournal. Why you ask? Cause I felt like it damnit. So today I went to the movies with my mom,dad,sister,and sister's boyfriend. We saw that Will Ferrell/Jon Heder movie "Blades of Glory" It was so freakin hilarious! I was cracking up the whole time. My parents were like "That movie was way too innapropriate, you shouldnt have been watching it. It should be rated R."
What the hell? I am way more mature than my sister and shes 16. She acts like shes 2. My parents don't know I know all about the stuff they mentioned in the movie.I wish they wouldn't be so damn annoying.My sister's boyfriend Brandon, is a pain in the ass. He is sooo annoying. All of her friends treat me like I'm a little kid. I just want to scream "Hello? Your the one who acts like you are in preschool!" I will someday, when I get more brave. Online I seem so "cool" and brave, and will say anything. Outside of the computer..you wouldnt even come close to imagining what I'm like. I'm shy and quiet,I have no friends,my family hates me, I'm the "dorky emo girl who never talks" and I just live a completly normal person. I don't even know who this Lexi person is! I just...I guess "Lexi" the person I am online, is the person I want to be in real life but am too scared to be her. I wish I was more brave, and had enough courage to stand up to people at school and actually be more like my online self. I really try..but I just can't. I don't know why.I just really want to move to a different state,I hate this state and this town. I wish so much I could move...I really really do. I pray
all the time that things will get better but they don't.They never do. But I think about Saidee's friend Taylor and how she commited suicide. I bet her life was a lot crappier than mine. I know I complain a lot but I have to let my feelings out somewhere. And no one probably reads this stupid journal anyway..so who is this for? My computer? No. I guess I'm writing all this for no reason. Whenever I'm on forums I always feel so left out. Like DCR..I know I have some friends on there but I'm always feeling left out. I hate that! And I hate when everyone fights on there..it makes me so sad. I don't want DCR to fall apart like ATL did. ATL just went downhill in December. Thats why I stopped going there. I have so many great memories there, but all my friends on there left except Ashley. But Ashley hardly ever talks to me..Its sad. That made me think of my crush for some reason..weird. Brody just treats me like I'm invisible. The only thing he said to me all year is, "Will you go out with my friend?" Its retarted. When my friend told him something about me, he was like "Whos that? Oh that dorky girl with the brown hair?" Gah I hate him so much. Last year he was so freakin annoying. But strangely, I like him. It's really weird. I know hes probably just some stuck-up jerk, but somehow I know hes probably nice deep down inside. I wish he would talk to me a lot...He hasent said a word to me since the first day of school.I don't have any classes with him either. I just really wish he could see the real me..the "Lexi" side of me. But to him I guess I'll always be the "annoying dorky girl". Like I am to most people.I'm gonna go for awhile, I'll write more later.

Luh Ya Forever,
Lexi

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